I'm thinking about the fact that people look at
me as I'm a kind of criminal. Maybe it's me who actually judge me and then it
reflex in others. I don't have children, and yes it must ‘cause I have delayed
that “fairytale” to “when I’m ready” It’s true I'm never been ready for it. It
was because I never feel like it’s a goal in my life, and for the other way I'm
not that soft and kind for children... And yes I have a dozen of excuse like
this.
But I don't have the same feeling about it if I
feel like I'm the one who decided it... But when the Mother Nature with her
power in the form of two big “balls” in my ovaries, which are actually bigger
than the ovaries... and the doctor say, "You have to get a surgery, but
after that you maybe cannot get children" That is not what I expected
ever, It's more ‘cause I always thought I have the control. But Do I have the
control after all? I don't have the control; I don't have strength to think
that things happen.
In the last couple years people are more and
more insistent about (There are something wrong with you) When do you get
children? or do you have children? After I answer with the obviously "not I
don't" people look at me like "why?" that is the best ever can happen for
a woman... But is it?